Sometimes I don't know what's mine, and what isn't.
I like to think a lot of things are mine, because I interact with those things a lot. I would like to think I'm the only one they interact with, and then well, they're mine. But when other new things come along, I get confused, jealous, irritated. Maybe because those things weren't mine in the first place, but I was confused for a second.

How do I find something truly mine?

-09 July 2011
 

 

Finally Friday draws close and it means more sleep over the weekend, gosh. I've almost forgotten the feeling of being sleep deprived but now it's all coming back. Thank God the only bitchy thing about school so far is the waking up early part, the week was rather slack :)
 

7 July 2011 x
 

18 June 2011.
x

I want an escape away into the wilderness someday with someone special :)

Someone should invent concentration pills, I'd buy 10 tonnes of them. Keep wasting my weekends away, and now even my PI isn't done. Ugh sometimes I just get so angry at myself but when the next weekend comes I don't do anything to change it :( Have to break free from this pattern asap.

I don't understand why sometimes everyone else around me just gets what they want so easily, am I not working hard enough or can I do nothing to change it? Already carved an image for myself from the beginning, now it's getting hard to change. If only time could rewind..

Life is superficial, we're all chasing after the wrong things. I wonder what I will be doing now if i was living in another country, another era, another world. Will I be happier? Will I be more open, more bold? Will I be doing things I like, instead of being confined to the paradigms of society? Might never ever find out, but it's still nice to dream :)

It's okay, I comfort myself. God knows best. I'm happy. :>


xo
9 May 2011

After 1 term and 2 weeks of school,
I finally fell sick.

Ugh. Am going to be missing so much tmr D: But omg school is utter madness starting next week, whaddup bioeconsmath tests napfa cca showcase pi first draft??

Life's been pretttty smooth-sailing after all that dilemma, a little rocky here and there but I'll get through oh yeah. Now time to seriously start bucking up on my studies I can't lag behind!

So there's nothing much with my life nowadays, it's just school dance home homework sleep and over and over. I guess you could call it a blessing, so I'd better not complain :) Hahah slight regrets here and there but NO I need to remind myself that I have seriously poor time management and self-discipline D:

I will survive. I'd better.

Life is so full of choices, sometimes it gets quite sickening.

So today was one of the days where nothing just seems to go right, must have secretly did something bad. I mean I didn't even intend for it to be a bad day, it's been a rather good week so far. It's a good thing the day is almost ending, tomorrow will be a new beginning haha hope things stop going wrong ):

Hope is such a big word. Ironic, I know. The joy it brings, the disappointment it carries. How it changes one's mood and perspective all in one standing. Silently hoping something good happens, but then again I forbid myself to hope for the impossible. What a stretch.

Got a wake-up call today, need to seriously put in more effort in my work. Stop getting so distracted, stop procrastinating so much, and stop sleeping so late. Like I always say. I hope this motivation/guilty feeling will stay for a while though. I wish I could bottle up such feelings and get a dose of it everytime I need it. Which would be like once a day, once an hour, every minute of my life.

Then again, God always provides in the most unexpected ways :) And I'm glad for that, praise the Lord :)

Never turn back-


24 March 2011 xx

怎么办!
 

I hope I'm doing the right thing ...
Right now I'm skewed to -





SD >/
I don't know how I'm going to get a definite answer :(

19 March 2011
-----------

I need more of a social life!!

I hope I'll find my place somewhere soon :)
Why are all the good people all leaving to the dark sideeee D:


-I don't really know why I'm here

19 March 2011 xx

Sooooooo....


My plan didn't work out.

Megasigh.


I need to stop running away, face my emotions bravely, and stop being so indecisive.
Will spend more time with God later, because He's the provider of all things :)

Plus I seriously need to get some work done. Oh the joy of being distracted.

17 March 2011